Did you know there’s a positive side to anger?
Most of us try to avoid it as much as possible because it feels bad to be angry or to have others angry with us. Actually, there’s an important purpose to anger.
Anger is a spontaneous emotion that acts like a personal security alarm when it sounds it alerts us that there may be danger about. Like our home security systems, most alarms are false, but you don’t know till you investigate further.
The same is true with anger Most of the time there is a misunderstanding or misjudgment that’s created a false alarm. Yet, if its a real intruder, you want to know so you can protect yourself. When you feel angry, it means there’s a-potential violation and you must explore to discover if there’s real danger or its a false alarm.On the other hand, if we believe every alarm is real, our natural sense of trust will be compromised. When this happens, we invite unnecessary anxiety.
When you notice you’re feeling angry Do 3 things:
1) Fully allow yourself to feel it and give your body permission to express it safely (writing or movement), “Safely” means NOT to the person with whom you’re angry as damage can happen. The release is for your body…
2) Discern if there’s a real emotional/physical danger about or whether you or others are misunderstanding the situation. In other words you have to investigate.
3) Take specific steps to keep yourself emotionally safe
3 actions to consider:
- Communicating with others
- Clarifying your boundaries (with yourself and possibly speaking them to others)
- Making requests and responding to others requests
Next time you feel angry Feel it–Safely Express it–Investigate Cause–Act to keep yourself emotionally safe!
When anger is stuffed, it can become hostility (cynical view of the world), which is associated with higher heart disease.