Dr. Deb Sandella

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How to Have a Relationship

September 10, 2011 by Dr. Deb Meditate, Relationships
0

Want to Know How to Have a Relationship without losing anything…

How much thought have you given to maintaining a relationship with your significant other? Where does s/he rank on your list of priorities along with the kids, work and the chores? And if you’re not in a relationship with another… where does your relationship with yourself rank on your list of busyness?

Last year, my husband of 33 years made a bold request, “Let’s take the month of September and go on a road-trip to reinvent our relationship… just you and me and the road!” My initial reaction was preceded by a visceral gasp! “What! Are you crazy? I have stacks of work… clients who can’t do without me… speaking invitations to which I’ve already committed… Impossible!”

And then I remembered the words of my friend and colleague Jack Canfield who makes a bold promise… “Double your income and your time off.” The first time I met Jack years ago, I was a student in his workshop and smiling smugly when I heard this ridiculous suggestion.

And then it happened… during this transformational week, I realized I was running my life quite mindlessly… when I was working I was guilty I wasn’t with my family, and when I was with my family, I was guilty I wasn’t working. In other words, I was spinning through my life like a gerbil running on a miniature wheel in it’s cage… constantly running in place and going nowhere.

I left Jack’s seminar with an enlightened awareness of what was really important to me at a deep personal level. I immediately began to create quality time with my children and my world shifted. The guilt was replaced by a satisfying sense of being true to myself and my children. Quite spontaneously, my work opportunities began to expand and the quality of my business ideas and programming significantly improved. When we completed our tax returns, completely unexpected by me… indeed, my income had actually doubled!

So when I paused to breath upon hearing my husband’s invite last September, I begged forgiveness from previous engagements and said, “YES”! Yes to me and my life… yes to what I really enjoy… yes to the love of my life who has stood my me when I haven’t been very understanding or loving… yes to having my personal life become as rich and satisfying as my fantasies as a young girl.

Our journey was so prosperous, we decided to make it an annual event. I write you with great anticipation on the eve of the “Reinvent our Relationship” Journey of 2011.

This months meditation is dedicated to you as you reclaim your time and your values. May you say “Yes” to your significant relationships including the one with Yourself!

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Meditation on Relationship

Gently allowing your breath to make you aware of your lungs and your body… you exhale with ease and deep release. Focusing your attention right where you are, you recover it from whatever far away places, projects and worries have stolen it… until now… that is…

Yes, you are making space to be with those who are really important to you. You’ve reclaimed your time from all the distractions of busy living and are focusing on the present moment… being with yourself… your loved ones… and the great good fortune of being alive!

The air smells fresher… the sky more beautiful… a state of awareness where even thunder clouds have intriguing definition… and you relax into a sense of presence that feels very powerful… very real… intuitively true…

In this space, you are clearly aware of your thoughts and feelings and have an ability to communicate with ease and authenticity such that it’s hard to image anything less. A bit like when you wipe the steamy bathroom mirror and see again… what is present.

It feels so good… It feels so natural… It feels so right!

May you take this imaginary moment and make it a real-life memory…

Right Here… Right Now… And Always!

Here’s to Doubling Your Income
and Your Time Off…

Much Love,
dr.deb

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