Hi, Michael Kline here, Master RIM® Facilitator at Intus, filling in for my good friend, Dr. Deb Sandella at the RIM® Institute.
Today I want to talk about worry and fear. I never invite them – or at least I seldom invite them – but they still feel obligated to show up whenever I have something new going on in my life. Perhaps you know them too. For some people, worry and fear-show up so often you can barely get them off your mind. I work frequently with clients who allow-worry and fear to interrupt-their work, their relationships and even their health, so let’s-talk about what we can do to get rid of these nuisance visitors.
It helps to remember that you are-not your emotions or your thoughts or your beliefs. You can observe your thoughts, emotions and beliefs, so you are-separate from them. You can notice them when they show up, you can be happy to see them (or not). You can invite them in (or not). You can ask them what they want, learn from them and send them on their way when you’re ready for them to go. The thing to remember – the secret to real freedom – is knowing that you-are not your thoughts, emotions and beliefs
The real key here is to welcome them. What we resist, persists – so welcome them and notice where they show up specifically: do they show up in your gut, in your heart, as a headache behind your eyes Where do they physically show up and what do-they look like: is there a-color, is there a shape, do they have a face or are they just a sense of energy about them Have the-conversation, learn what you can and allow them to leave in their own time. You-see, when we welcome even negative thoughts, beliefs-and emotions they tend to dissipate naturally. When we hide them in the dark they-tend to grow and fester. Remember: mold grows in the dark; flowers blossom in the light. Let’s shine a-light on everything
True fear is a natural safety feature that-protects us from danger. Worry is often a useless and unhealthy state that diminishes when we shine a light on it – when we ask the question “What’s real?” When presented with that question, worry tends to disappear because it is not real.
Fear is often real: fear that you’re not good enough or-won’t be able to handle the situation, fear that you’ll be lonely, fear that you’ll fail, fear that you won’t be able to live up to the expectations if you succeed. It’s a warning to tell us to take action: that there’s something else we could do to produce-the outcome we want. Worry is simply what we do instead of taking fear’s good advice. Like all emotions, we want to welcome fear, learn what it has to say, listen to its advice and then let it dissipate naturally. Ironically, that which we fear-we could easily avoid simply by taking action instead of worrying about it.